Children

I love my children. Don't always like them, but I will always love them.

I think one of the biggest problems is that children attract other children. When you have four of you own, if they all bring a friend round, the number is obviously doubled and nearer that of a football team. They also have a tendancy to resemble a plague of locusts, rather than children. My cupboards are bare, my fridge stripped and no fruit juice or squash remains in the house. Anything that is left is either either a non-food item or they "don't like that...".

Then, ofcourse, there's always the slightly 'odd' child. You know the one. Severe selective deafness. Doesn't understand the simplest spoken english, "Well actually, we don't play chase indoors in our house, but if you'd like to go outside..." and they've obviously never had to do anything for themselves. If you suggest they put on their shoes and coat, they'll offer you a foot, or an arm. Worse still, they expect to be escorted to the toilet and have their bottom wiped after a number two.

I did't take all this into consideration when we had the discussion, not if but how many. I think it was a mistake.

But I really do love them! Just not all their friends...