School holidays

...again.

Come the school holidays and one of my sons leaves home.

Or at least, that's what it feels like. He's only nine and a half.

Sometimes I'm not sure if I should let him. You see, he has a friend called Robert, a little chap he's known since they were at ante-preschool together, so they were roughly three and a half when they met. It is unusual around here to have any friends around for that long, they usually move away, although we appear to have become part of the furniture.

So, they did ante-preschool together, then pre-school, then they started Primary one together, but then his mum moved Robert to one of the schools in the town three miles down the road and two years after that, they moved house to that town. So, Aedan and Robert don't see each other very often now.

Robert is the youngest of two, his older brother being about seven years the senior and they are not close, so Aedan is surrogate brother. Within days of the start of the holidays, Aedan will be invited over for 'a sleepover' and I'm beginning to think it wouldn't be cheeky to automatically pack for a week, as we often don't see him again for quite a few days.

I don't think my mother approves of me letting him stay for so long. I don't know if it's because she thinks he should be at home with his family, or maybe we are imposing on Robert's family, or taking advantage.

Robert's mum often jokes about getting the birth certificate when we pop into her pizza shop, just down the road, to hand her another poly bag of underwear. We're good friends, I'm quite sure she'd tell me if there was a problem and I don't think they would invite him if they didn't like having him around. I think there are advantages on both sides. They have company and entertainment for Robert that he doesn't get from his brother, Aedan sets a good example with his behaviour, (yes, my Aedan, the one with the policeman knocking on the door...) and his good eating habits. Aedan has more individual company and attention than he would get at home with the crowd here and all their little friends. Besides, he doesn't really have any peers left round here and he needs a friend.

I would like to think they are forging the same kind of friendship I did as a child with Ruth. It would appear to be quite unusual to have a friendship that spans the decades, so I think it's a good thing. (Just reminded myself, again, we're nearly forty...)

So, am I bad mother, or just allowing my son to enjoy his childhood anyway I (responsibly) can? The most heartbreaking bit is when he comes home. He often can't sleep, is distraught at having left Robert and misses him dreadfully. Then I feel I shouldn't let him go, because then he wouldn't suffer, but then, I would be denying him something that gives him true pleasure.

Something else to add to the long list of things to keep me awake at night.